Ayurnamat
by ACuriousAuthoress
Summary: (Brought over from a Tumblr drabble.) Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed. So many possibilites for the word, but one's state of mind could easily alter the meaning of the powerful word. Features OC. Leo-centric. Before the most recent canon events.


Title: Ayurnamat

Author: Kelly (pion-de-lunettes)

Series: Pandora Hearts

Rating: All Ages

Language: English

Characters: Leo Baskerville, Amelia Lunettes.

Pairings: Slight Amiee/Leo

Type: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Spiritual

Word Count: 1,202

Brief Summary: A hand reaches out for the lost boy, the boy left without any answers. But the truth of the tale is that what Leo expected was never true at all. And where was Amiee all along? Leo-centric.

He couldn't bring himself to do it. Near every day, he would reach the cemetery through an old forest path, gaze across the fields, and turn back with a glaze in his eyes. Leo still couldn't face the final resting place of his former master, Elliot Nightray. It had become even more dangerous for him to venture out ever since he had forcibly accepted his own destiny as the next Glen Baskerville. Slowly, he was losing himself, which made it all the harder to hold on to what he knew and what he had done. But still, every day, he would check.

One day, he ventured out on to the path as he always did, and stopped behind an old oak tree on the perimeters of the graveyard. His wary eyes peeked out from behind it and saw the same old things... but there was someone at his master's grave. A redheaded girl had seated herself in front of it, setting a bouquet of wisterias beside the tombstone. He rubbed his eyes; only one person came to mind the moment he saw her.

"A-Amiee...?" he called out quietly to her, but she hadn't heard. He took a breath and hesitantly began walking forward to the girl.

She hadn't heard him because she had felt like she was in her own little world right there. Seeing the reality of it was heartbreaking, but somehow, she had a feeling he didn't die in vain. Elliot wasn't one of those people who did something just for the hell of it. He always had reasons, no matter how preposterous they originally seemed to be. And yet, she still found a quiet tear streaming down the side of her cheek, without a noise made from her still self.

_"...Amiee."_

Her name was said louder that time- she lifted her head and turned around some to find Leo gazing at her with those beautiful, yet so tired eyes of his. She stood up and walked towards him, giving no words, but an embrace that was so long awaited. His eyes widened slightly at the sudden action, but he reciprocated the embrace with a timidly warm feeling in his chest. They hadn't seen each other since that tragic night, and she had wondered every day what had happened to him since the aftermath madness at Pandora. Leo had yet to carry out his plans as the Duke Baskerville, but they were rapidly approaching, and his heart had become heavy with the task. But for this moment alone, he had something back.

"Leo… What happened?" she inquired, pulling away just a bit.

"I don't really know how I could explain it," he responded, not fully able to look into her eyes. "So much has happened… and everything's changed. I-I'm not…the same."

"What are you talking about? You're still Leo, aren't you?"

That was an excellent question. For years, he had built up a wall—no, a fortress—around his mind to block all the voices out, to protect himself from what could be. But with the untimely demise of the most noble-hearted person he could have ever hoped to know, everything fell down around him. He blamed solely himself from the Humpty Dumpty Contract, the loss of Elliot's siblings, and the unknown pain the boy went through for two years. It had all landed on his shoulders, and it had been too heavy of a burden to carry. So, he gave in.

He merely shook his head at her and looked over her shoulder at the burial site for a fleeting moment before shutting his eyes tightly, forcing any tears back. "No. I'm not."

He bore the Baskerville cloak over his shoulders, but she barely even realized it until he had stepped back some more from her. The wind blew past and created a tense silence between the two- the trees were rustling, their hair had whisked in the direction of the current, but all she could even bother to look at was him.

"It's not your fault, you know."

"What?"

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for everything that happened." She crossed her arms and gave a faint smile. "It can seem almost impossible to accept, but everything happens for a reason. Elliot wouldn't have wanted you to act like this, neither do I."

"For a reason…?" Leo's eyebrows furrowed at the girl and a slight raise came to his voice. "What kind of reason would suffice for his _death_? What kind of damn reason would help me look like anything less than the monster I am-?!"

"It comes from the fact that you shouldn't worry about it anymore."

He stared at Amiee, bewildered. Had she not been paying attention? He gripped her shoulders and looked her right in the face, becoming unnerved by this. "How in the hell would I do that? Huh? I would love an explanation for this—"

"Leo, it's simple." Her smile became sweeter, which brought a bit of a tint to the nervous boy's cheeks. "There's no point in worrying about things that can't be changed. Everything in this world happens for a reason. And I know it's hard to lose someone you really care about. But we've all got to learn these things, otherwise we'll never know how to truly live instead of just surviving." She planted a light kiss upon his lips, then traveled up to his ear in a quieter voice. "For without a shadow, there would be no light."

His hand slowly intertwined itself in her wild red hair as they came closer once more, feeling the warmth of each other's presences. Maybe she was right… Maybe falling to his knees for this wasn't worth it, because what could he do? He had dived straight into his own hell that night, and finally, someone was offering him a way out of the darkness. The Baskervilles had only plunged him further into the shadows, and it had become even harder to see the light. Amiee Lunettes was his last chance…

"… That, Amelia, is the philosophy of—"

_xxxxx_

"_My Lord… you must awaken."_

Leo's eyes flickered open hastily and he found his new servant, the former Vincent Nightray, standing by his bedside. He flung himself up and looked around the room in a panic. His heart was racing in that very instant, but the acceleration died when he realized… it had been nothing more than a dream.

"We have much to do today," Vincent said in a kind voice, smiling at the noirette before starting to exit his room. Leo looked over into the mirror and looked at himself- he was once more the hollow shell of what he once was. Of what he used to be. Of what he could have become if she had been there all along. He didn't know where she actually was, and the cold truth of it was that he might never know at all. It made him think for a moment, but the Glens' plans spoke otherwise. So for the last moments of being alone with himself, he decided upon one thing. But it was in the worst of ways, thanks to the hole in his heart.

He would forget everything…and everyone.


End file.
